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Camelbak hydration pack, which got me through bed rest and which I still keep in bed with me at night so I can drink water without even sitting up. That thing rocks.

Also the iPhone 4s. It's my first smartphone and I'm hooked.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Bryan's. I always chuckle inwardly when people ask me if he "helps" with the children. If you know him, you know what a ridiculous question that is. He matches me stride for stride and I'm continually amazed by his willingness to sacrifice his needs for mine and the kids'.

song sound will always remind you of 2011?

It's an unbeatable combination, really: shrieking + cackling + wailing + gulping/swallowing.

The shrieking is Camilla, upset because Blaise is beating up on her. The laughter is his, obviously. One baby is wailing because I am not holding him. The other is gulping/swallowing because he is nursing, which is the reason I can't get up from the couch to solve the shrieking/cackling/wailing.

It is SAD how many times this exact scenario happened to me this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
 

– happier or sadder? This is complicated.

On one hand, I am worn thinner than I've ever been, and am exhausted and overwhelmed a lot of the time. I cry often.

On the other hand, I am relieved, both that my twin pregnancy had a happy ending and that we made it through the first eight months with two babies. And also, we HAVE those babies, and Linus and Ambrose are a joy and a gift in themselves.

On balance, I'm going with happier, but I hope that this time next year I am happier AND rejuvenated AND more content.

– thinner or fatter? Thinner. But this time last year I was in the second trimester of a pregnancy during which I was specifically trying to gain weight. So that's not saying much.

– richer or poorer? Poorer. Did you read the part about the medical bills? And we've just decided to send Camilla to private school next fall, so watch this space for the same answer next year.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Being gentle and patient with my husband. Listening to my big kids and enjoying them. Giving myself credit. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
 

Blaming myself and viewing every weakness as a failure.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
 

At home, just the six of us, on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning. 4:30pm Christmas Eve Mass, appetizers for dinner, reading The Grinch, A Visit from St. Nicholas, and the account of the nativity from the Gospel of Luke, hanging stockings. Opening stockings with the big kids at 8:00am before the babies were up, eating cinnamon rolls and bacon for breakfast, opening family presents one by one around the tree.

Later in the day my family came for a big dinner, and we continued our Christmas celebrations over the following days, but the evening of the 24th and the morning of the 25th were perfect.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
 

With my baby boys, of course.

22. What was your favorite TV program? 

As is my tradition when a baby is born, I re-watched all of Gilmore girls. I still love it.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
 

I don't hate anyone.

24. What was the best book you read?
 

My best reading experience this year was re-reading Harry Potter, the whole series from start to finish, in November and December. That is one incredible story.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?  Did you, by any chance, perfect your recipe for blueberry muffins this year? Would you like to share it with the world?

As a matter of fact, I did and I would.

26. What did you want and get?
 

Two healthy babies, praise God.

27. What did you want and not get?
 

A full-term birth for my babies. A reasonable amount of rest, of both the emotional and physical types.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? How much pizza did you eat this year?

A truly ridiculous amount. I'd like to say that will change in 2012. We'll see.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
 

I turned 29 on August 23rd. It was a fine day. I remember very little about it, just as with most of the days in the babies' early months.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I'd spent more time appreciating how hard I was working instead of blaming myself and worrying about unimportant details.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011? Have you showered this week? Good for you!

Thank you!

32. What kept you sane?
 

Bryan, Lauren, my family, my friends outside the computer and (sort of especially) on Twitter. My support network rocks. Also, I started going to counseling in mid-October and over two-and-a-half months it has already helped me immensely.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Can you sing the theme song from Thomas & Friends? Do you hate it?

I can and I do. What a freaking earworm. 

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Did you manage to read any magazines?

I always page through my issues of Cuisine at Home and Cook's Country and Bon Appetit with excitement, even though I'm currently unable to try many new recipes. Looking forward to more cooking once things settle down around here.

35. Who did you miss?
 

My sister Miriel and my brother Brandon, hundreds of miles away. Lauren, ditto. The year I learn to apparate is going to be the year my life finally improves immeasurably.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

Besides the babies, which is sort of obvious, I'm going with my new online-turned-real-life friend Laura. She's a long-time blog reader who's local, and while I technically met her in 2010, she's been awesome this year - so helpful and supportive and fun. I'm grateful for her.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Self-flagellation is a very bad idea.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Do you like cheese?

Yes, as long as it's melted and not too pungent.

Good-bye, 2011!

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Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas! (2011 recapped)

I sent this letter out with our Christmas cards this year. I've blogged a lot of this stuff, but it gives a pretty good update on our year. I would've sent this to every blog reader if I could've - and I'm praying for the greatest blessings for all of you in 2012!

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas! I hope that this letter finds you well and celebrating the holidays with those you love most.

2011 has been a roller coaster marathon of a year in our household.

The first big event was in early January, when a 16-week ultrasound revealed that our identical twins - who were due to be born in June - were boys. That ultrasound and further ones found the babies healthy and thriving, thankfully.

While I could still travel, Camilla and I flew to the DC area to visit some dear friends and my sister Miriel who was living there at the time. On the trip we had high tea at a hotel downtown, a highlight that Camilla still talks about months later! It was a treat for me to travel alone with my “big” girl - at four she’s inquisitive and easy to excite; I loved watching her enjoy the trip.

In late February, Bryan took what would turn out to be his only business trip of the year. He’s never had a year with this little travel, and it couldn’t have happened at a better time. The kids and I stayed with my parents for the week, and it was then, around the 25-week point of my pregnancy, that I started having the contractions which would cause my doctors to put me on restricted activity (a modified form of bed rest) for the remainder of the twins’ gestation.

The rest of the winter and early spring passed slowly, although in retrospect it seems to have gone by in a flash. We made it through March, and then April. Bryan handled the household chores; I spent a lot of time on the couch concentrating on growing babies; Camilla and Blaise worked on their self-amusement skills. (Those skills have come in handy since!)

Then came May, our whirlwind month. After a short hospitalization to stop preterm labor and a few days at home on strict bed rest, our twins decided it was time to come, so they did!

Linus Michael, at 5 pounds 7 ounces, and Ambrose John, at 5 pounds 12 ounces, were born at 12:38 and 12:41am on May 12th, at 34 weeks 3 days gestation.

In case you’re wondering about the names: the babies are named for early saints. Linus is traditionally considered to have been the second pope, and Ambrose was a great scholar and doctor of the church. Michael is Bryan’s middle name and St. Michael the Archangel is a special family patron, and John is after my grandfather and St. John the Baptist.

The twins’ birth was a crazy one but surprisingly good, thanks in large part to my doctor, a maternal-fetal medicine specialist who delivers multiples regularly. I credit her with my managing to avoid a c-section, something that was important to me.

Having avoided surgery turned out to be an advantage over the next few weeks, since while I was recovering from giving birth, Linus and Ambrose were catching up from having come early. They spent 15 and 17 days respectively in the hospital’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. While I wouldn’t recommend NICU time to anyone, we had a sort of best-case preemie scenario: our babies breathed well from the beginning and only needed jaundice treatment and some tube feeding until they could get strong enough to eat on their own. And we’re lucky to have a great NICU just 2 miles from home, which made it much more bearable.

Still, the day we brought them both home was one of the happiest of the year. There’s nothing like being forced to spend many nights away from your newborns to emphasize the joy of having them with you!

But then the real work began. Having twins is like Extreme Parenting: all the normal baby tasks, doubled. There’s no way to spell each other, no way to get the breaks you get when you have a single baby. We were blessed to have my mom and sisters take turns staying with us for the first month, but caring for the babies is still a round-the-clock job, and Bryan and I would take turns moaning and blithering at each other as we sat up feeding twins in the middle of the night, near-drunk with exhaustion.

Fortunately, things got better. We got Linus and Ambrose off bottles onto full-time nursing, which simplified feeding. They started sleeping [somewhat] better. They held their heads up, smiled and laughed, and finally at around six months began sitting on their own. It’s two steps forward, one step back, but we are slowly making our way toward the time when (we hope) we’ll be able to really enjoy having twins.

In the meantime, we have two other kids to enjoy, and this has been a great year with Camilla and Blaise.

Camilla turned five in October and I’m casually homeschooling her for kindergarten, with a plan to send her to a local Catholic school for first grade next fall. She loves math and is making great strides in reading, and spends non-school-time drawing and creating all sorts of games to play with Blaise. When the two of them aren’t careening all over the house, she also deigns to help amuse the babies (for a few minutes at a time, anyway). She’s a delightful kid.

Blaise, who will be three in January, is a fireball of a kid, and while we’re working to (ahem) help him learn to curb his aggressive tendencies, we really enjoy his enthusiasm. He loves all things vehicle-related, especially “frucks and frains” as he calls them. He literally runs from place to place around the house, usually with a small truck or train clutched in his hand, so excited is he to find the next piece of mischief to manage. We’ve loved getting to know him as his verbal skills have developed this year, and we expect he’ll keep us laughing (and probably groaning) for years to come.

Bryan is still working at [redacted] and really liking a new project he started working on this fall. I’m still writing sporadically for faithandfamilylive.com, and looking forward to doing more as the twins get older and life settles down a bit. Neither of us gets nearly enough sleep, but we’re grateful for the crazy blessing of our little family, and we can’t wait to see where 2012 takes us.
And as a reward for making it to the end of this letter, here are a few extras the Christmas card didn't contain:
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